One liners - ideas for speeches

Here's a couple of bad wedding jokes that may work as a one-liner in a wedding speech...

"My wife says I don't listen to her  .... Or something like that..."

Two cannibals have just finished a big meal when one, rubbing his stomach says "you know, I've just eaten my mother in law, and she still doesn't agree with me "....

I know  I know... 

For some proper advice on speeches check out http://www.theweddingspeechexpert.co.uk